A Brief History Of Pig Butts
One year ago, we served up what we thought was a wholesome Thanksgiving meal in our “Overstuffed” BarkBox. One of those toys included a pair of “Big Honkin’ Pigs in a Blanket.” Yes, we know how that sounds… now. They were small. They were carby. They had a pig nose, little pink pig butt cheeks, and a curly tail. INNOCENT AND CUTE, YA WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?
And then we launched our ads on social. What followed was the end of the good ol’ days.
It took about .2 seconds to realize y’all and your dirty minds saw something other than tubular swine. A reminder, for those who have been fortunate enough to forget (or those who want to see and experience immediate remorse):
In hindsight, highlighting the wonderful variety of sizes for theSE DOG TOYS allowed the stars to align in a most unfortunate way. We’d accidentally turned our mildly spicy snack foods into significantly spicier toys of a certain kind… tailored to your pup’s size. 🤦♀️
I had to explain what people thought these were to my MOTHER. Our relationship has never been the same.
Over 18,000 comments later, our social team was a husk of what they once were, and we sold out of the butts. Three months later, we brought them back for Valentine’s Day because it felt right in our hearts.
‘Tis the anniversary of these scandalous butt crack pigs, and we’re bringing them back so you can arrange them in the background of a holiday Zoom and wait for your family to look uncomfortable.
The OG oinkers are making their grand re-debut as a FREE TOY for you lucky dogs quick enough to sign up for this November’s “Dogsgiving” box. AAAAND before you start pounding your keyboards in buttless-induced anger, YES, you can get them if you already subscribe—we found a small collection of them in the warehouse so get ’em while they’re hot, you beautiful weirdos.
Now here’s the thing… we wanted to do more than just bring the pig butts back. We wanted to make a big deal. A grand stir. An enormous excitement. Alas, our request got a little mixed up, and we received a small mountain of these XXL snack foods. We do not know what to do with them, they are colossal. (Pibbles for scale.)
We daresay these spicy cylinders are NSFW.
So we’re taking the obvious next step, and that is to make the piggies their own OnlyFans account, sell them, and donate everything to a spay and neuter organization.
WANT A BIG BUTT?
We only have 10. They cost $150. We will ask you to make a donation to your favorite for-good organization and we’ll send you a butt in return. If you so choose, email [email protected] with the subject line: I WANT A BIG BUTT. We’ll give you the details and then ship out your butts faster than you can say “Maybe this was a mistake.”SOLD OUT!
- Just want a regular butt? New subscribers can get one by signing up here, and active customers can log into their accounts to add to their box.
Lastly, an extremely important PSA:
That is all. Stay safe, and have a rea butt-filled Turkey Day.