WASHINGTON – Sophie the Bulldog today issued bold remarks regarding the state of her ongoing Grassy Hill Negotiations to the Puppy Press Corps.
“We have made strategic, hard-won progress on the hill, and today we are poised to take final steps toward establishing a lasting, roll-based resolution. This is a a great day for puppies everywhere. Now excuse me as I through myself headlong down this gentle incline.”
Sporting a smart zip-up gray hooded sweatshirt, the bulldog puppy then twisted her head around and cartwheeled her adorable, stumpy little legs over her torso, at which point gravity took over, sending her merrily rolling along down the slope without a care in the world.
“That was great fun, and I would very much like to do it again,” stated Sophie when asked for comment. She then did it again.
Members of the Puppy Press Corps reported they felt their icy-cold hearts melt, found joy and meaning in this crazy world, and many stopped what they were doing to call their families to them how much they loved them.
“I would now like to take a nap,” Sophie stated, before closing her eyes and falling asleep right there in the grass like a sweetheart.