We all spent hours daydreaming about our first kiss. How amazing, perfect and life-changing it would be. But most of us probably weren’t told how to kiss. And while my lack of expertise terrified me, I chose to consult the obvious: old movies I’d seen on TV. As a result, I took my kissing lessons straight from the Jimmy Stewart Aggressive Swivel Head Guidebook:
Which explains, somewhat, why I never heard from most of my dates. In fact I know that their reaction was more or less Kim Novak’s face here:
Little did I know — did any of us know — that we only had to look to our family dog for all of the kissing knowledge we’d ever need. After all, dogs have been perfecting and evolving The Art of the Pooch Smooch for thousands of years. And unlike us, they know there’s no one right way to swap saliva.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, we present to you this romantic roundup of dogs making out like nobody’s business. So perk up and pay attention: you may learn a thing or two. I know I’ll never kiss the same after seeing some of these. THANKS FOR NOTHING, JIMMY STEWART.
1. The Bite Their Tongue And Hold On For Dear Life
2. The Lick The Whole Front Side Of Their Face
3. The Menage à Trois
4. The Shove Your Tongue Into Their Face Folds
5. The “Wait, We’re Doing Tongue Now?”
6. The Eyeball Bite
7. The Coy Finger Nibble
8. The Neck Peck
9. The I’m So Nervous I Farted
10. The Glorious Surrender To Love
We can’t wait to continue learning more from our dogs. But for now, here’s hoping that these helpful kiss tips from dogs will help you end up like these guys very soon:
Happy Valentine’s Day, and be sure to give your dog a big sloppy wet one!