You know that guy on the train (or airplane or any other form of public transportation) who would rather display his junk to the world than show a little respect for humanity and let someone else have a seat? You know– this guy. The manspreader:
The literal spread of this trend is apawling to me as a try-to-be-decent-person person. But know what’s really scary? What none of us should continue to tolerate? What needs to be stopped immediately? Bedspreading. You know, this thing, manspreading’s gender neutral canine cousin.
If you can stomach the affront against civilization as we know it, scroll on to see the pawfenders most guilty of this heinous movement.
1. “‘Sharing is caring,’ you say? If only I had a middle finger to show you how I feel about that.”
2. “You’re elderly or disabled and would like to sit down? That must be hard for you.”
3. “This isn’t the place to be displaying my wiener? Well, ma’am, I beg to differ.”
4. “You’re carrying 30 pounds of laundry and your back hurts? Well, you should have thought of that before washing all those clothes at one time.”
6. “You’re not impressed with my obvious virility and genetic superiority? Try looking closer.”
7. “You’re pregnant and might go into labor if you don’t sit down? I’m not responsible for your life choices.”
8. “This is really comfortable. You should try it. Oh wait you cant because there’s no room.”
9. “Yeah, the two of us are using space enough for 5 people. Your point?”
10. “Why are you looking at me? What is your problem? I’m just sitting”.
11. “Ahh, this feels just like my living room.” #SoComfortable
12. “I really wish there was room for you… but as you can see there’s hardly room enough for me and my awesomeness.”
13. “I’ll just stretch out my pecs, too, while I’m at it.”
14. “Just kidding hoomans, we’ll always make room for you!”