Note: This post is not for hoomans who have not yet reached the age of one-and-twenty. (That’s twenty-one for those of you who have never read and/or seen a Jane Austen book and/or movie).
The famous Westminster Dog Show is being held this week from Madison Square Garden, and while we do celebrate doges of all kinds doing all things, we have to admit: If you’ve seen one dog show, you’ve seen ’em all.
Not that watching pups prance around a ring and getting a
feel up expert judging from hoomans isn’t fascinating in and of itself, but there’s no harm in adding a little spice to any television broadcast.
So, if you want to bring the “Wahoo” to Westminster this year, here are 20 drinking games to play while watching its 139th Annual Dog Show.
1. Every time you see a pup’s b-hole (this is called the “My Eyes!” game).
2. Anytime any butt-sniffing is spotted (this is called “A snifter for a sniff”).
3. Every time you see a dog who has better hair than you (this is called “The hair of the dog”).
4. Anytime you can’t pronounce the dog’s breed and/or name (this is called the “Xoloitzcuintli”).
5. Every time you see a pup that still has its manhood (this is called the “Ballz”).
6. Anytime you see and/or someone says “Purina” (this is called the “Brought To You By…”).
7. Every time a dog poops on camera (called the “Oops plus a P” game).
8. Anytime someone says, “This dog was bred to kill rats” (called the “Rat ’em out” game).
9. Every time someone references Martha Stewart (called “The Martha”).
10. Anytime you see a crazier dog person than you (called the “Best In Show”).
11. Every time a dog looks bored or yawns (called the “#Dilligaf”).
12. Anytime an owner gets winded from the trot-around (called the “Bounding Breathless”).
13. Every time an announcer says, “This unique breed” (called the “Need to look up dog synonyms”).
14. Anytime you see the new breeds admitted, or someone talks about it (called the “New Pups on The Block”).
15. Every time you see a dog and handler and/or owner that looks alike (called the “Twinsies”).
16. Anytime a human trips or stumbles through the trot around (called the “Westminster on Acid”).
17. Every time you spot someone under 30 (called the “Wish we had more of this Demographic”).
18. Anytime a handler actually runs and doesn’t do that weird half-jog trot thing (called the “I’m putting in effort too”).
19. Every time a judge touches a dog where it’d be inappropriate on a human (called the “Show me on the teddy bear”).
20. Anytime a dog gets a treat (called the “Work isn’t its own reward”).
The 139th Annual All Breed Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is taking place at Madison Square Garden in NYC Feb. 15-16 and will be broadcast on various networks.