Dogs love smelling butts, but these dogs are trained and knowledgeable butt stewards, or Sommeliers. They don’t just smell butts–they live and breath butts.
1. “Maude, your butt… it’s so complex. I’m getting notes of lavender, ripe pear, chicory, fresh cut grass, oregano…”
2. “Now that was a watery meniscus.”
3. “First, I stir up the aromatics like so… and then… oh yeah, that’s the stuff.”
4. “I’m getting, oooo, a cat butt opening… into… strong cat butt body and… a pearly, cat butt finish. Okay, this is a cat butt.”
5. “What… is that… intoxicating… ahhh tangerine peel.”
6. “I like to tease my nose with the tail before going in for the big whiff.”
7. “I’m getting straw, lanolin, limestone minerality, and… ugh, pee.”
8. “Tina, my goodness, your aroma! Hawthorne tinged with mandarin, vanilla, dried plum, grapefruit pit…. Tina! Tina! I just can’t get enough!”
9. “Ooooo…. now that… is… spicy.”
10. “Sal, hold up…. omg… Your butt smells exactly like a 1998 Chateauneuf du Pape.”
11. “Oo, sardines. Woah chill, I just want to smell your… Ouch. Ouch!”
12. When butt sommeliers gather, a “butt circle” may form.
13. Ripe pear, dried peach, caramel, garden hose, cinnamon, lime peel, cardamom, wet wool, beet juice… My Lord, it just keeps coming!”
14. “Let’s see… Low-intensity aroma. A kind of… wafery point with heavy… spooled cotton undertones.”
15. “Mmmm… nice vintage on this one. Can I keep the cork?”
16. “A clean, youthful beginning… emerges in a lovely bouquet of lilies and…. a kitty litter finish.”
17. “Trina, Trina, just one little sniff, please. One sniff, Trina!”
18. “I’m getting a yeasty, musty… oh God. No. Noooooo.”
19. “Ooooo hello. Don’t mind if I doooo.”
20. “Hold still, Anvil. That has such a familiar… Milk Bone aroma ANVIL YOU ATE MY MILK BONES! Get back here!”
21. Now that smells lovely. Maybe just one littttttttle taste.
Featured image via VICE