If your dog is large enough to pass for a small pony, then chances are you know “the look.” After smashing through the house, knocking over trash cans and small pieces of furniture, your giant dog stares at you as if to ask, “Who did all that? Little old me?”
Since they can’t help how big they are, and they love you so much, just treat them like the lap dog they think are. Here’s a few gift ideas for the holidays:
1. Chuckit!, $8, a must-have for a dog so big that your puny human arm can’t throw far enough for a decent game of fetch. The Chuckit! launches your dog’s ball so far and so easily that your pup will tire out before you do.
2. Still too much work? Pick up an iFetch, $100. The device allows the dog to play by itself.
3. The Varsity Ball, $43, will allow your mutt to play as ruff as possible. This ball is so tough they give it to the tigers in the zoo (but we won’t tell your dainty doge).
4. A Bolster TUFF Nesting Bed, $93, since most big dogs don’t realize that when they nestle at the foot of your bed they’re actually hogging the whole dang mattress. It’s cozy, comfy, and comes with a 90-day “Chew Proof” guarantee. It’s a gift for both your pup and you.
5. A big mouth can mean big-time bad breath. Yuck. Give them the deliciously thick Booda Fresh N Floss, $9. It will handle all the chewing and tugging your dog can dish out and leave their breath minty fresh.
6. Billy Wolf Rupert Waterproof Coat, $65, because what dog wouldn’t want a classy, reversible shell? But wait. Your dog’s huge-mongous. Thankfully Billy Wolf comes in XL, allowing you to avoid that awkward moment when you put on your pup’s new coat and it wonders why the coat is too small.
7. Nothing will shatter your dog’s delusion that it is still a lap dog like destroying every toy it touches. Try the Big Daddy Unbreakoball, $29. The aptly named Unbreakoball is indestructible, allowing your dog to retain its sense of delicacy despite its size.
8. The Kurgo Automobile Zip-line, $25, a handy-dandy gizmo that allows your dog to move about the vehicle like a small dog would, without you having to worry about them jumping behind the wheel (or overboard!).
9. The Tug-N-Toss, $29, is basic, bouncy, and big. Sound like any dogs you know?
10. The StayDri Pet Wash Shower Curtain, $29, will make sure that your dog is the only one getting a bath at bath time. This gift is really for you. But with all you do for your big dog, you deserve it!
11. KONG Extreme Dog Toy, $18, because KONG. All KONG products are classics, but for your big dog, you have to go full KONG and get the Extreme. Small dogs enjoy their KONGs. Why shouldn’t your big dog?
12. Does your dog’s demeanor require eccentric accessories, but they’re too big for a puppy-sized tutu? Buy a human tutu, $8.
13. Deer Antlers, $25, for that small part of your big dog willing to admit their true size. Designed by Mother Nature herself, deer antlers provide a rich flavor and a solid, long-lasting chew.
14. Nina Ottosson DogWorker puzzle, to avoid having a dog whose brain is as small as they think they are. These puzzles are durable and challenging and will keep your dog thinking for hours. Dog hours, that is.
15. Lollycadoodle Ring, $10, a designer toy handmade from %100 percent wool. Snazzy! These rings are a natural toy for your unnaturally large dog and are as impressive to look at as they are to play with.
16. Bling, because big dogs need big style. And really, accessories needs no justification. The Snooty Pooch Boutique offers a range of flash from as low as $50.
17. The Tuggo Weighted Exercise Toy, $28, a big ball equipped with a rope that can be filled with water to adjust the weight of the ball depending on the strength of your dog. It can be as light or heavy as your dog thinks it is!
18. The Bionic Urban Stick, $20, a high tech wonder made from splinter-free “bionic rubber.” Don’t know what that is, but it sure sounds cool. And the stick’s large size will keep your dog feeling downright small.