• BarkBox
  • BarkShop
  • Super Chewer
  • Bright
BarkPost
  • Answers
  • Life
    • Trending
    • Health
    • Food
    • Politics
    • Celebrity
    • Wedding
    BARK Teamed Up With Bud Light & Budweiser To Create The "7-Pack" For You & Your Best Drinking Buddy
    11 Long-Lasting Chews For Dogs Who'd Chew Through Drywall
    What Are The Best Apps For Dog Parents?
    10 Things You May Not Know About Military Dogs
    10 Tips & Tricks On Surviving Self-Isolation With Your Dog
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    Alaskan Klee Kai Breed Information Guide: Quirks, Pictures, Personality & Facts
    What Are The Benefits Of Coconut Oil For Dogs?
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    What Are The Benefits Of Coconut Oil For Dogs?
    11 Thanksgiving Staples That Are Hazardous To Pups
    BarkBites: Protein-Packed Peanut Butter Mini Donuts
    Here's What Hillary Clinton Said When Someone Asked Her About Puppy Mills
    One State Is Taking Dramatic Steps To Prevent Dog Theft
    Proposed Bill Mandates Shelters Be Alerted Before Research Dogs Are Euthanized
    Dogs Are Now Helping Tiny Humans Testify Against Bad People
    7 Of The Best Dog Dads Who Ever Dog Dadded
    The Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert Reunion Was Even More Awesome Than We Imagined
    Anderson Cooper Just Got A New Puppy And She's Adorable
    Shia LaBeouf Quits Acting To Live With Pack Of 150 Free-Running Dogs
    Human Gets Help From A Posse Of Pups To Create The Perfect Proposal For His Soulmate
    The Dogified Wedding: DIY Dog Cake Toppers
    15 Dog Couples All Got Hitched In The Furriest Wedding Ceremony Ever
    14 Wedding Keepsakes For The Couple Who Loves Dog As Much As They Love Each Other
  • Discover
    • Trending
    • Breaking
    • For the Hoomans
    • Science
    • Tech
    • Weird News
    • Quiz
    Here's Exactly What Happens To The Body Of A Dog Left In A Hot Car
    What Causes Eye Boogers in Dogs?
    101 Nature Inspired Dog Names
    17 Ways Your Dog Will Improve Your Quality Of Life
    New York's Upper East Side Is So Lavish, Even The Dogs Drive BMWs
    It's Confirmed! Looks Like Walking Your Dog Is The Key To A Longer Life
    Dedicated Search And Rescue Dog Dies After Saving 7 People Trapped In Earthquake Rubble
    Lt. Dan Finds His Feet And Walks Straight Into A Furever Home
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    Afghan Hound Breed Information Guide: Quirks, Pictures, Personality & Facts
    Japanese Spitz Breed Information Guide: Quirks, Pictures, Personality & Facts
    Jindo Breed Information Guide: Quirks, Pictures, Personality & Facts
    How Old Is My Dog REALLY?
    Furry Coworkers Make You Kick Butt At Your Job And Help You Bring Home More Bacon
    It's Confirmed! Looks Like Walking Your Dog Is The Key To A Longer Life
    Can Your Dog Really Predict The Weather?
    8 Of The Best Podcasts For Dog Lovers
    How To Get Your Dog On A Billboard In Time Square
    9 Inventions All Dog People Would Like To See Turned To Reality This Year
    These Women Save Dogs In The Nerdiest Way Possible - With Applied Economics
    8 Signs Your Dog Might Be Turning Into A Zombie
    Doberman Swallows 26 Golf Balls And Lives To Fetch Again
    Happy Endings Saved This Hermaphrodite Puppy
    People Admit They Would Rather Kiss THIS Loved One vs. Significant Other
    14 Hilarious "Would You Rather" Questions To Test Your Dog Obsession
    Quiz: Can You Tell Dog's Gender Just By Looking At Their Face?
    We Bet We Can Guess What Kind of Dog You Have Based On Your Fave Horror Movie
    QUIZ: What Is Your Dog's Poo-sonality Type?
  • Humor
    • Trending
    • Fail
    • Funny
    • Funny Pics
    • Funny Videos
    • Wacky
    Dogs Reacting To Kanye West's "Lift Yourself" (Whoop De Scoop)
    25 Shocking Dog Sex "Facts" You Don't Need To Know
    10 Hilariously Literal Names For Pit Bulls
    Here Are 15 Exotic Animals Trying To Take The Best Pet Title Away From Dogs
    Stubborn Great Dane Refuses To Get Off The Bed Because, Hey, It's A Free Country
    15 Dachshunds Who Need Their Ears Reset
    Boxer Falls Asleep Standing Up, Predictably Falls Over
    Dog Leaps On Top of His Sister In the Pool Because He's a Dingus
    We Asked Dog Parents To Describe Their Dog's Breath, And Turned Their Answers Into Perfumes
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    15 Dogs Who Just Want To Say "Cheeeese!"
    15 Things You Should Never Say To A Maltese Owner
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    How Do You Know If You're Ready For A Second Dog?
    15 Dogs Who Got Themselves In Trouble When Their Human Wasn't Looking
    15 Maltese Instagram Accounts You Need In Your Life
    Chihuahua Shakes Her Head "No" When Asked If She's Mad
    Stop What You're Doing And Look At This Pit Bull Puppy's Face
    Frenchie Puppy Thinks Whining Is For Losers, Screams Like A Baby Instead
    Boxer Mom Adopts Injured Baby Bird And Raises It As Her Own
    Spoil Your Pup with our Ultimate BARK Holiday Gift Guide!
    We Asked Dog Parents To Describe Their Dog's Breath, And Turned Their Answers Into Perfumes
    15 Dogs Who Just Want To Say "Cheeeese!"
    15 Things You Should Never Say To A Maltese Owner
  • Travel
    • Trending
    • Adventure
    • Video
    • Family
    • Culture
    51 Breathtaking Travel Destinations Your Dog Will Adore Visiting With You
    16 Things You Must Know The Next Time You Fly With Your Dog
    15 Essential Road Trip Tips That Will Give Your Dog The Adventure Of A Lifetime
    11 Summer Cruises That You Can Take With Your Dog
    Fish Canyon Falls Is the Best Place to Hike with Your Dog
    5 Things You Need to Know About Visiting Joshua Tree with Your Dog
    Bulldog Bravely Outsmarts River The Way Only A Bulldog Can
    10 Camping Spots Your Dog Will Love
    Dogs Reacting To Kanye West's "Lift Yourself" (Whoop De Scoop)
    Chihuahua Shakes Her Head "No" When Asked If She's Mad
    Stop What You're Doing And Look At This Pit Bull Puppy's Face
    Frenchie Puppy Thinks Whining Is For Losers, Screams Like A Baby Instead
    How Do You Introduce Your New Dog To Your First Dog?
    15 Maltese Instagram Accounts You Need In Your Life
    Boxer Mom Adopts Injured Baby Bird And Raises It As Her Own
    Fluffy Chow Chow Puppy And Hooman Bond In Swimming Pool. Enjoy Your Day.
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    It's Confirmed! Looks Like Walking Your Dog Is The Key To A Longer Life
    10 Reasons Why Dogs Make Better Travel Buddies Than Humans
    20 Dog Names That Are About To Blow Up In 2016
  • Good
    • Trending
    • Cause
    • Veterans
    • Puppies
    • Heartwarming
    What Is The History Of Dogfighting?
    These Humans Make The World A Better Place For The Dogs Who Need It Most
    Sad News: The Villalobos Rescue Center Will No Longer Be Giving Public Tours
    Borrow A Dog For The Day? There's An App For That
    What Is The History Of Dogfighting?
    Why Are There So Many Pit Bulls In Shelters?
    Former Bait Dog Thrown Away Like Trash Gets To Be Treated Like The Treasure He Is
    This New Adoption Website Is Like Petfinder For Cool Kids
    Devoted Dog Discovers Amazing Way To Help His Human Get Around
    After Years Of Being Forgotten, These Canine Veterans Finally Get The Life They Deserve
    Selfless Military Dog Honored For His Heroism With A Beautiful Statue
    Dying Veteran's Last Wish Is To Find His Service Dog A Forever Home
    How Do You Introduce Your New Dog To Your First Dog?
    How Training And Boarding Can Help Your Dog
    What Do I Do If My Dog Can't Poop?
    15 Dogs Who Just Want To Say "Cheeeese!"
    4th Grade Teacher Challenged Students To Create BarkBox Prototypes, And We Turned Their Designs Into Real Life Toys!
    Life is Better With Your Dog, A Short Film by Bark & Co.
    15 Dogs Who Just Want To Say "Cheeeese!"
    15 Things You Should Never Say To A Maltese Owner
  • Cute
    • Trending
    • Cute
    • Cute Pics
    • Cute Videos
    An Open Letter To Puppies From Senior Dogs Who Are Sick Of This Poop
    18 Yorkie Mixes Too Adorable To Be Real
    16 Dog Breeds Who Never Outgrow Their Puppy Looks
    24 Breeds That Are Mixed With Corgi
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    23 Dog Gifts To Include On Your Wedding Registry
    21 Etsy Gifts For People Who Like Dogs More Than Humans
    15 Dogs Who Just Want To Say "Cheeeese!"
    15 Holiday Hazards You May Not Realize Are Dangerous For Your Pup
    21 Etsy Gifts For People Who Like Dogs More Than Humans
    17 Things All Doodle Parents Know To Be True
    15 Dogs Who Just Want To Say "Cheeeese!"
    Chihuahua Shakes Her Head "No" When Asked If She's Mad
    Stop What You're Doing And Look At This Pit Bull Puppy's Face
    Frenchie Puppy Thinks Whining Is For Losers, Screams Like A Baby Instead
    Boxer Mom Adopts Injured Baby Bird And Raises It As Her Own
Search

BarkPost Newsletter

Poochas gracias! You are now pupscribed.

Want more poop like this?

Sign up for our BarkPost newsletter!

Poochas gracias! You are now pupscribed.

Good

I’m Digby Van Winkle and the New Zealand Gov’t Did Something Horrible To Me

I’m Digby Van Winkle and the New Zealand Gov’t Did Something Horrible To Me
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest

Guest Author

Writer

Shares
Share
Tweet
Pin

Ladies, gentleman, esteemed pups– My name is Digby Van Winkle, and I am running for Prime Minister of the Interwebz.

2014-06-10_53974c9cbdcaa_10269550_663253947045429_6840946852331659930_n.jpg

If you don’t know me, I’m a dog from New Zealand. And I love treats…a lot. Which is why I was so excited to receive my Spring Barkbox! When it arrived at my doorstep (late), Alo and I barked and barked (which must have scared the mailman because he dropped the box and got straight back into his van). We’re very good boys like that.

Screen Shot 2014-06-11 at 11.22.48 AM

Anyway, the humans came home at their usual time after my poor box sat out in the rain for HOURS (I’ve had a little talk to them about that, don’t worry) and they gave it to me. It seemed a little light but I thought nothing of it. I opened it, and at first didn’t notice the letter (those chicken liver treats are AMAZING. Seriously, you need Barkbox in your life). But after I sampled the treats, I got to reading.

2014-06-10_53974c9cbd670_note.jpeg

Are you KIDDING me? Turns out the government doesn’t think that Bully Sticks are acceptable.

"I can't begin to describe my rage."

“I can’t begin to describe my rage.”

So. I put in a call to my pal Brutus, he works as a sniffer dog for the international mail center. He said, “Boss, I’m sorry. I saw your package and my tail wagged and wagged. I couldn’t help but sit and paw at it. The mail humans saw it and took the package from me, and opened it. I whined and cried and tried to get them to stop but it was no use. The took the bully sticks, Digby. Please, don’t be mad.”

"NOBODY TAKES MY BULLY STICK AND GETS AWAY WITH IT."

“NOBODY TAKES MY BULLY STICK AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.”

But I was mad. I was FURIOUS. For too long the long paw of the government has kept our treats locked away behind bureaucratic doggie gates. For too long New Zealand’s proud, noble pups have struggled for treats. We sit, we stay, we speak, and what do we get? Stolen treats and beat up BarkBoxes? I say to you, ENOUGH.

"ENOUGH!"

“ENOUGH!”

Fellow dogs, you may have heard on that big black box that there’s an election this year to pick a new Prime Minister of New Zealand and thought “I need that gig.” But again then I started thinking big – why not run for Prime Minister of the Interwebz? There’s more people on it. More power. More treats.

"Paw-wer and class. Those are my middle names. Fitting for a Prime Minister, eh?"

“Paw-wer and class. Those are my middle names. Fitting for a Prime Minister, eh?”

So, here are my paw-licies and promises. I hope you’ll follow me.

1. No bully stick, bacon, or treat shall ever be withheld from any pup.
2. No more dogs imprisoned. No dog shall live in a shelter or pound, all families must allow a canine companion to live in their home until all pups have a warm bed, a friendly human and food in their bellies.
3. Bacon. Free bacon for all pups.
4. I promise not to poop in my office, on the rug or on the human’s bed. Pooping will only happen outside with no-one trying to make eye contact with me.
5. I will be friendly to all humans, unless the have a beard and/or hat. Then they’re just asking for it.
6. Aloysius will never be bullied by the bigger dogs. I got your back, bro.

digby

Please help me with this campaign. Use the hashtag #digbyforpm on any and all social media posts. Each like counts for one vote, so get voting! Together we will walk paw in paw into a brighter future.

2014-06-10_53974c9cbd89f_sVMNJB7.jpg

Thank you, and Dog bless you. And please follow me on Instagram.

2014-06-10_53974c9cbd40d_digbyfeature.jpg
Comments
Want to read more stories?
Sign up & unlock all stories & get the best pup shenanigans each week!

Poochas gracias! You are now pupscribed.

Guest Author

Writer

10 Creative Summer Adventures You Can Have With Your Dog

Trouble sleeping? Follow these 8 Tips From a Snoozin' Master

Living With A Deaf Dog Is A Reward In Itself... Take It From Someone Who Knows

0 Shares

Categories

  • Answers
  • Puppy
  • Wellness
  • Travel
  • Good
  • Play

Other links

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Careers

Bark Family

  • BarkBox
  • BarkShop
  • Super Chewer
  • Bright
  • Bark
  • Essentials

Stay Connected

Facebook Pinterest Tumblr Twitter Instagram
© Copyright 2021 BarkPost
  • Life
  • Discover
  • Humor
  • Travel
  • Good
  • Cute
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • About
  • Hooman Jobs
  • TOS
  • Privacy Policy
  • BarkBox
  • BarkShop
  • BarkGood
  • BarkLive
  • BarkBook

BarkPost App

Available on the App Store

BarkPost Newsletter

Poochas gracias! You are now pupscribed.