Part of what makes our bond with our dogs so strong is the fact that you can say pretty much anything to them without fear. No matter what you say, your dog will still be your friend the next day, unlike humans (and cats, because tyrants don’t make good BFFs).
For the sake of lulz, here are the reactions you’d get from people if you suddenly spoke to them the way you speak to dogs.
1. “Who’s a good boy? Is it you?”
Um. Excuse me?
2. “Ugh, you pooped in the house again?”
3. “That’s it, you’re going outside.”
Good luck with that.
4. “Come over here and let me scratch that butt!”
5. “You need to lose some weight. I can’t even feel your ribs.”
That’s no way to talk to a lady!
6. “You wanna go potty?”
I don’t know. Maybe? Way to make it weird, bro.
7. “Let me rub your belly!”
This conversation is over.
8. “Who wants a treat?”
A treat? What, are you on drugs?
9. “Guess what you’re having for dinner tonight. Raw meat!”
10. “I can see your red rocket. Please put it away.”
Dude, I think she’s talking to you.
This outfit always attracts catcalls. So annoying.
12. “Your breath smells like butt.”
13.”Drop it. Drop. It.”
OMG WHAT IS IT?! DO I HAVE A SPIDER ON ME?! GET IT OFF!
14. “Aww! You peed on your pee-pee pad! Good girl!”
Yo, someone hold me back. Them’s fightin’ words!
15. “Did you fart? Was that you?”
There’s a baby here. Why would you think it was me?
16. “LET ME SMELL YOUR PUPPY BREATH!”
Is that your way of telling me I’m a mouthbreather?
17. “Were you digging in the trash again?”
SAY IT TO MY FACE!
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