"Thank you for spending upwards of $100 on this fancy bed so I can lay my head on an empty box instead."
Puppy 101: How To Make Your Human Shake His Head Daily
"Oh, look! A toy! I can't wait to--zzzzZzz."
"Being a dog is super hard work. First there's begging for treats, and then there's judging the human for all of her daily life choices."
You know you've had a rough night when your face looks like it's melting into the floor.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do."
"We give the phrase 'roll out of bed' a whole new derpy meaning."
"What I do with this fluffy cushiony fort of greatness is my choice, and my choice alone."
It wasn't the zebra print and hot pink trim that made Dilbert uncomfortable with this situation. It was his inability to speak up that continued to plague his thoughts throughout the rest of the night, as the humans cackled and took photographs for their social media accounts. He knew his moment of weakness would be recorded for posterity, and that upset him.
"Hello, 911? Yes, this is Dog. Halp."
"Well maybe if you'd finish that quilt you said you were making for me, Mabel, I wouldn't feel the need to burrow under my bed."
"This is for that time you told me there were no more treats but my highly sensitive nose picked up on all your lies, human. ALL OF THEM."