audrey4
1. Dog Logic 101.
bad advice dog
2. Bonus points if you catch them as they're leaving the shower.
bad advice dog
3. Do your part to keep our planet green. And brown.
bad advice dog
4. Trust me, it works. And it helps weeds out the losers who can't handle a little butt juice.
bad advice dog
5. Establish dominance.
bad advice dog
6. NO TAKE! ONLY THROW!
bad advice dog
7. They will never leave you.
bad advice dog
8. If it tasted good going down, it'll taste just as good coming back up.
bad advice dog
9. Hide yo pillows, hide yo bare legs.
bad advice dog
10. Don't be a d*ck. It's the polite thing to do.
bad advice dog
11. 99% of the time, it works every time.
bad advice dog
12. They're crunchy and meaty. Sometimes even moist. Mmmm.
bad advice dog
13. Just go halfway and then come back. Watch Human's face for maximum entertainment.
bad advice dog
14. They won't let you starve.
bad advice dog
15. Steal from the youngest ones. Those can't tell on you.
bad advice dog
16. Enjoy the sunshine while you watch them dig in the trash for an empty paper bag to use.
bad advice dog
17. Or the crotch. Hell, why not both?
bad advice dog
18. More fiber, less MSG.
bad advice dog
19. They will envelope you with the scent of their everlasting love.
bad advice dog
20. Problem solved.
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Humor

20 Pieces Of Terrible No-Good Advice From Audrey The Australian Shepherd

You all know Audrey as the baddest b*tch at the Bark & Co. pawffice, where she’s in charge of testing every toy that goes in BarkBoxes. As an expert in what dogs like, Audrey has become the resident Advice Dog. We’ve collected some of the gems Audrey has to share with the world. Keep in mind, Audrey is not a doctor and has zero counseling qualifications.

P.S.The anal gland thing actually happened in real life. In a car. On her human’s date’s shirt.

Check Audrey out in The Pawffice.
For more of Audrey’s silly face, follow her at @audreythepup

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