2. Bonus points if you catch them as they're leaving the shower.
3. Do your part to keep our planet green. And brown.
4. Trust me, it works. And it helps weeds out the losers who can't handle a little butt juice.
7. They will never leave you.
8. If it tasted good going down, it'll taste just as good coming back up.
9. Hide yo pillows, hide yo bare legs.
10. Don't be a d*ck. It's the polite thing to do.
11. 99% of the time, it works every time.
12. They're crunchy and meaty. Sometimes even moist. Mmmm.
13. Just go halfway and then come back. Watch Human's face for maximum entertainment.
14. They won't let you starve.
15. Steal from the youngest ones. Those can't tell on you.
16. Enjoy the sunshine while you watch them dig in the trash for an empty paper bag to use.
17. Or the crotch. Hell, why not both?
18. More fiber, less MSG.
19. They will envelope you with the scent of their everlasting love.
You all know Audrey as the baddest b*tch at the Bark & Co. pawffice, where she’s in charge of testing every toy that goes in BarkBoxes. As an expert in what dogs like, Audrey has become the resident Advice Dog. We’ve collected some of the gems Audrey has to share with the world. Keep in mind, Audrey is not a doctor and has zero counseling qualifications.
P.S.The anal gland thing actually happened in real life. In a car. On her human’s date’s shirt.
Check Audrey out in The Pawffice.
For more of Audrey’s silly face, follow her at @audreythepup
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