Bathroom time? Personal space? Ha! Those are relics of the past.
Your life of cleaning up your own vomit has been replaced with cleaning up your dog's.
Although you might receive a new kind of unwanted attention as a result.
Your Sunday morning hangover is now the "Hi, it's 7am and some of us have to pee/act like we have to pee but really just sniff around for 20 minutes in the freezing cold."
From #ForeverAlone to bitch magnet.
You start referring to your shoes in the past tense. Because yes, they're all dead. ALL OF THEM.
Doing the dishes is a lot easier. (Note: According to science, dishwasher technology also makes this easier.)
You find new and interesting ways to sleep.
Literally the inside of your phone changes.
At first you were just crazy, but now you have an equally crazy henchman.
There's always a face in your crotch now. (Hey, at least it's a smiling face.)
You stop wearing black. (Note: The woman on the left doesn't own a dog. Which is why she owns black, fur-free pants.)
Unless your dog has black fur. In which case you only wear black.
Every time you walk through the door now, you're greeted with unconditional love and slobber...as opposed to the crippling nothingness of living without a dog.
So even when it's tough, life after dog is basically paradise because, DUH, you have a DOG.
Once upon a time you were a carefree hooligan running around without a worry in the world. But you didn’t have a dog, and so your life was basically meaningless. Then you got a dog (way to go!) and both of your lives changed furever and fur the better. Now that you’re a devoted dog-owner, your life A.D. (After Dog) looks quite different from your life B.C. (Before Canine).
This is clearly an example of life A.D.
Featured image via Blonde and Balanced
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