One day in the life of our four-legged family members.
Dog: Dog food! My favorite thing!
Cat: Day 643 of my captivity. Humans dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
Dog: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
Cat: The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Dog: The park! My favorite thing!
Cat:My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
Dog: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
Cat: Captors attempt to claw my soft underbelly. I retaliate.
Dog: A ride in the car! My favorite thing!
Cat: HUMAN FORCES TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN MOVING BOX THING.
Dog: MAIL DELIVERY! My favorite thing!
Cat: Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at the front doorstep. I had hoped this would strike fear into captor’s hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
Dog: You’re making dinner?! My favorite thing!
Cat: I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously an imbecile.
Dog: Bath! My favorite thing!
Cat: Dear Diary, Human tried to drown me in porcelain tub of water today…
Dog: Glowing box of pictures with humans! My favorite thing!
Cat: Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
Dog: It’s time for bed? My favorite thing!
Cat: Please leave now.
The next day…
… and all days after…
Story inspired by this thread. 🙂