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This post was originally written by Val.
Oh hai, there. It’s me, Val. I’m usually not on the email team, but I convinced them that this message was too important to ignore:
We need to talk about dancing for your dog.
At some point of time in your life, you have danced for your dog. We all do it. Maybe you think it’s embarrassing, like it’s your own little secret. Well, no more.
Share your dance with the world. Every flail of the elbow, every kick of the leg, every simmering, soulful gaze. Explore your body as movement, while your dog stares awkwardly in the distance. No eye contact, only expressions. (And then send us a video)
Seriously, it’s okay. People have been dancing with dogs for LITERALLY over 20 centuries.
Come, learn with us:
220 C.E.: An unknown craftsman in the Tang Dynasty crafts the first known display of man dancing for a dog. However, one can assume that humans have been dancing for dogs for much longer, given the intricacies of the design.
1640 A.D.: The artist, craftsman, and all around good guy François Verwilt paints “A man dancing with his dog.” Hard to decipher this one but it looks like a man dancing for his dog.
1669 A.D.: The Dancing Dog – this painting has baffled art historians for centuries but recent breakthroughs in art restoration have revealed it to be a picture of a dancing dog. This was surprising.
2016 A.D.: A weird guy in flannel flails about in what looks to be some form of elaborate, strange, modern dancing for his dog.
2017 A.D.: A woman performs for a pug in what might be referred to as free form dancing. Present day historians believe that this ritual is often performed at the end of a particularly long workday.
2017 A.D.: A poop fairy performs the ritual “poop dance” to honor a puppy who’s still in the process of learning to go outside. Scholars say this mysterious dance can inspire even the most stubborn of pups to become potty-trained.
These 7 photos prove that being yourself is who you were always meant to be. There’s nothing to fear, so go forth and dance your little hearts out. We can’t guarantee your dog’s attention, but know that you have ours.
Yours in light, Valiant Lowitz
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