One time my dog ran around with an empty potato chip bag on his head for about 15 minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him having more fun than being neck-deep in grease residue. The bag was not stuck, mind you. It fell off multiple times, but he kept putting it back on until I had to stop my dog from playing with a piece of literal garbage. The point is, my dog is easily impressed by life’s little “joys.” You know, joys like dirty underwear, empty water bottles, and cat poop.
Bronson, however, is not as impressed. Bronson is too cool. Bronson is not having any fun.
His mom, Anna confirms that he has no patience for silly things:
He hates fake animals like ceramic or house decor fake animals. If you put them in his face he freaks out and runs away. He also hates water bottles.
While most dinguses are defined by their lack of chill, Bronson bucks stereotypes by maintaining the meanest of mugs in all situations.
He smells like cheese and is so darn nerdy. His lips are constantly stuck inside his mouth and he is hilarious looking.
Hilarious, indeed. How anyone can stay so serious with their ham hocks reaching into separate hemispheres is beyond me. Meanwhile, I feel like I am required to paint him like one of my French girls, but no one is enjoying it. No one!
Even while cuddling with his adorable Staffie pal, Aria, Bronson wants you to know that he is totally over it.
Zooming in really highlights just how little fun Bronson is having. Not even a loving embrace can make you crack a smile, Bronson? Are you really that nonchalant? How can one dog be so casual??
It’s Bronson’s party and he’ll have absolutely no fun if he wants to.
“Oh you thought this ball would please me? I’m laughing on the inside.” Even Aria is like, “I don’t know what his deal is, I love that ball.”
But what does Aria know? Only try-hards smile in photographs.
Even with the tiniest tongue sticking out, Bronson is still taking himself very seriously. At this point, it’s just impressive.
In a pack of stoic pups, one derpy frown always reigns supreme.
And it’s obviously Bronson’s.
“Hey I’m back here. Still not amused. You know, in case you were wondering, or whatever.”
Just in case you thought that this dingus was actually a smooth operator, this is the face Bronson makes when he is having a good time.
So, yeah. You would probably try to play it cool too.