Humor

Meet Chutney & Branston, Two British Sausages Derping It Up In The UK

Meet Chutney & Branston, Two British Sausages Derping It Up In The UK

Ello chaps. I am typing to you in a British accent. Can you tell? No, probably not, unless I tell you. Which I am. ANYWAY. Your weekly dinguses, or dingi, are another duo coming to us from England . Meet Chutney & Branston.

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Like many dingus duos, the dingus is not evenly divided. By that I mean, one of them is slightly more of a dingus. I think you know which one I’m talking about.
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Like, Chutney is the actual face of dingus.
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For every one of Branston’s derps…

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Chutney has like 10 of these (and trust me, I’ve scrolled DEEP).
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Here’s what’s fascinating about Chutney though. She has a very drastic on/off dingus switch. She is one of those rare dinguses who (if she HAD to), could hide her dingus.

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But it always comes back.
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No dingus.
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SO dingus.
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Together they love to slerp (sleep derp). Their human, Hannah told us:

Branston is forever trying to sleep in Chutney’s bed with her, even though actually she would rather he didn’t most of the time. He’s a real cuddle monster, but she’s a lady and she likes her space!

“Oh hey, it’s you again.”
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LOOK AT THEIR RAPTOR ARMS HUGGING EACH OTHER LIKE LITTLE OTTERS I CAN’T.
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“Oh, hey. Wow you’re still here. No, that’s cool.”
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“Tbh Branston I don’t know what smells worse, your breath or your butt. J/k your butt always smells great.”-Chutney
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The truth is, it’s not that Chutney doesn’t want to snuggle with Branston. Instead, she has sort of a thing with her teddy bear, Fudge. According to Chutney’s mom:

Every single evening when I’m home (apparently she doesn’t do it when I’m not there!) Chutney will go and get Fudge (a dog cuddly toy who is bigger than her!) and drag him into the bed in the front room to suck and knead him while she falls asleep. There’s a big indent on his head where she falls asleep with him in her mouth! He was the teddy I gave her on her first night here when she was 8 weeks old.

When you just tryin to have an alone night but you couldn’t put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door cause you got tiny raptor arms.
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When it comes to weird fears, they’re relatively normal, except for Branston:

Branston hates it when I put ointment on his belly. There’s this one tub I put on him when he gets a rash on his tummy sometimes, and as soon as he smells that the lid has come off, he will run out of the room and hide!

When you know you’re about to get a belly rub but not the kind you want.
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We’ll leave you with some of their best Character Derps, if you will.

When you find out Timmy’s parents double booked the clown and you already put a deposit down on this rainbow wig.
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And why this minion is sitting on two bananas, I have no idea.
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Is your dog a derpy weirdo? Submit here and they could be featured as the next Dingus Of The Week!

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