The world was supposed to end at midnight on Jan 1, 2000. Then again, on December 21, 2012. And yet, all our lumps and bumps, Kardashians and Trumps are still here. Thank Dog. Still, it’s best to be prepared, so I have compiled a list of
inevitable potential doomsday scenarios, and the dogs that will slow the whole “survival” thing down a bit.
1. Meteor Shower
All the Labradors are going to think the flaming balls falling from the sky are well, balls falling from the sky. You’ll be heading for cover, but your Lab will want to play the most epic game of fetch of all time.
2. Water World
In the event that the ice caps melt, covering our earth in water and Kevin Costner-esque sea drifters, Pugs are pug out of luck. A squat body and a smooshed nose is not exactly the ideal swimmer’s body.
3. Ice Age
Small breeds like Chihuahuas are going to be mighty chilly if the world ever becomes covered with ice and snow. They’ll be shaking like maracas, and don’t even bother with snow booties, because you’ll be carrying these guys everywhere.
4. Alien Invasion
Sure, they’re zapping people and cities into oblivion, but that won’t stop your Dachshund from getting all up in that extraterrestrial business; burrowing in their second skins, eating their fuel, and showing them who’s really boss.
5. Super-volcano Eruption
Your Bulldog is not having all this running-from-lava stuff.
6. Zombie Apocalypse
Golden Retrievers love EVERYBODY. What’s actually a bloodthirsty swarm of snarling, undead, lepers just looks like a party to them.
7. Infectious Disease.
Good luck with your Shar Pei. Those wrinkly, piles of love are already allergic to everything without adding a biochemical warfare into the atmosphere. Plus, I couldn’t find a single canine hazmat suit that fit their physique.
8. Societal Collapse
If civilization collapses and anarchy is the only governing system, those Beagles will not know when to keep their mouths shut. They’ll alert the land-pirate gangs about your secret hiding spot within minutes with that howl.
9. Limited Resources
Overpopulation, limited resources, whatever it may be, Rhodesian Ridgebacks will always be mighty hungry.
….We’re all gonna die.