No two pup parents are the same, and that rule applies to Dog Dads as well … except for one thing: talking. Pretend all you want, but we know that whether you’re the athletic type, a couch potato or a total love bug, all Dog Dads talk to their pups about everything (and anything) under the sun. They are man’s best friend, after all!
1. Like Father, Like Doghter
Dog: Dad, you’re so pawesome.
Dog Dad: Thanks, Buddy! What makes you say that?
Dog: You make the coolest faces.
Dog Dad: Well, thanks! Wanna try one together?
Dog Dad + Dog: ….
2. Not During the Puppy Bowl, Steve.
Dog Dad: Rufus…
Dog: Not now.
Dog Dad: But… Rufus? Ruuuuufuussssss?
Dog: Fine. This better be good, Steve. I mean, I got my paw on my balls, the Puppy Bowl is on…
Dog Dad: Okay, okay. I just want to take a quick pic of you to post on Instagram.
Dog: Wha..? Really? That’s it?!
Dog Dad: Yep!
Dog: You need a girlfriend, Steve.
3. For the Ladies
Dog: Not again. Can you put me down, please? My breed wasn’t bred to like mornings.
Dog Dad: But I’m helping us meet women!
Dog: You mean helping YOURSELF. I have no problem walking up to a nice girl.
Dog Dad: You’d walk up to a rusty old hydrant if it smelled like pee.
Dog: That’s besides the point. I am not an accessory.
Dog Dad: C’mon, girls love fashion and they love dogs. Do it for me?
Dog: Fine. But you owe me a Puppuccino.
4. I did it!
Dog Dad: Today is awesome! It’s Friday, there’s pizza, and I’m with my best friend. High five, buddy!
Dog: I AGREE, DAD! HIGH FIVE!
Dog Dad: Wait, are you giving me a high five or just sniffing my fingers?
Dog: A high five! *sniff sniff*
Dog Dad: Hey, don’t chew on my fingers!
Dog: I HAVE THE TASTE.
5. Downward Dog
Dog Dad: What do you think of my yoga pose, guys?
Dogs: What’s it called?
Dog Dad: Downward dog.
Dogs: Ha, good try Steve. But let us show you how it’s really done.
6. I’m Sorry, But No.
Dog Dad: C’mon…
Dog: Absolutely not.
Dog Dad: It’s just one picture. C’mon, for me?
Dog: What is she doing here?
Dog Dad: If you take this picture, I’ll give you a treat.
Dog: … It better be a big one.
7. It Looked Shorter, I Swear!
Dog Dad: Don’t do it.
Dog: Why? It’s so fluffy and white!
Dog Dad: I don’t want to have to go in there and fish you out.
Dog: You won’t have to. Just let me go out for one minute.
Dog Dad: I don’t kn…
*Dog Jumps In Snow*
Dog Dad: …Yes?
Dog: So what’s this show called again?
Dog Dad: Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Dog: And what is it about?
Dog Dad: Nothing and family drama. But mostly nothing.
Dog: And why are we watching it?
Dog Dad: Because the remote control is all the way over there.
Dog Dad: Yes, son?
Dog: I’m scared.
Dog Dad: Me too, son. Me too.
9. I’m Watching You
Dog: What are you doing in there?
Dog Dad: Pooping. Get out.
Dog: Can I come in with you?
Dog Dad: No.
Dog: Why not, I let you watch me when I poop…
Dog Dad: I clean up after myself, so I don’t need you watching me.
Dog: You really don’t appreciate what I do for you, do you?
Dog Dad: Please, can’t we talk about this later?
Dog: … No.
10. Oh, No Reason…
Dog: Dad, why are you laughing?
Dog Dad: No reason.
Dog: Dad, why can’t I see you?
Dog Dad: Don’t worry about it.
Dog: That stupid hat is on me again, isn’t it?
Dog Dad: No. No, of course not! Why would you suspect that?
Dog: …You’re so dead.
11. I Warned You…
Dog: Let me come in.
Dog Dad: No, you’ll hate it.
Dog: Just let me in. I miss you whenever you go in there!
Dog Dad: The second I let you in you’re going to want out.
Dog: No I won’t. Try me.
*Closes Shower Door*
Dog: OUT. OUT. LET ME OUT.
12. You Know I Can See You… Right?
Dog Dad: It’s going to be fine. Get out from under the bed.
Dog: No! The cat will find me if I leave.
Dog Dad: She’s going to find you if you stay?
Dog: No, I’m hiding. She’ll never see me if I stay here.
Dog Dad: Then how do you think I found you?
Dog Dad: I just blew your mind, didn’t I?
Dog: I think I just crossed into the matrix.
13. That’s Not A Chair.
Dog: Dad, I love this chair you got! Now I understand why you’re always sitting on it.
Dog Dad: C’mon pup, that is definitely not a chair.
Dog: No way, Jose. You’ve kept this comfy kingdom a secret for quite a while, and now it’s time to share.
14. It’s Because I Love You…
Dog: Dad, I’m sorry I ate your wallet.
Dog Dad: I forgive you, but why do you keep eating all my stuff?
Dog: … because I miss you.
Dog Dad: I know, Remo. I love you, Buddy, but man am I glad I hid my shoes.
Dog: I love you too, Dad. So… hypothetically, where would you hide those shoes, anyway?
Dog Dad: *Face Palm*
Dog: I must know for, uh, research.
15. When It’s Just You And Your Dog
Dog: Whoa, dad! Did you see that?!
Dog Dad: No, what it is? Is it a squirrel? The mailman?
Dog: Nope, false alarm. It was just your love life.
Dog Dad: Uh, whoa, that was really harsh. Why did you say that?
Dog: I didn’t. I’m a dog. I can’t talk, remember?
Dog Dad: Oh wow, you’re right. Huh, I guess I do need a girlfriend.
Featured image via @lenskumar