Humor

18 Plans Your Dog Has On Their Summer Bucket List

18 Plans Your Dog Has On Their Summer Bucket List

Summer is finally here! The humans are home more, outside time is abundant, and there are SO many opportunities for rescuing stray meats from the floor.

Not one to waste precious summer days, we’ve compiled a list of things we want to accomplish over the next few months. #squadgrowls

1. Go skydiving

Skydiving pooch

It ups the ante of wind in the face from those regular old car rides.

2. Build the world’s biggest fire hydrant out of sand

dog hydrant

“So I can pee on it.”

3. Go bed shopping for a king-sized human bed for yours truly.

beforeaftermatress

“I’m tired of always ‘borrowing’ your bed. What I need is one of my own so I can stretch out as far as I want without your big old human body getting in my way.”

4. Successfully catch ONE squirrel so I can ask why he acts so messed up to me

we finally meet

“Why you gotta be like that, squirrel? I just wanna chase you for a little while and ‘sample’ all the nuts you stash away. What’s so wrong with that?”

5. Make nice with the neighbor’s cat so I can use their pool

friends

“As efficient as my fur coat’s cooling system is, I love a little dipski in the pool. It’s like drinking from your water bowl and realizing you’re IN THE WATER BOWL!!”

6. Visit the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden so I can eat peanut butter out of the giant spoon sculpture.

peanut butter

“Mmmmmmmmrumphmmmmmm!”

7. Get to be the Ball Dog at Wimbledon

tennis dreams

“Hi mom! I’m on TV! Mom! Mom! Mom! I’m on TV, mom!”

8. Start a dogs-only Ultimate Frisbee Team

ultimate frisbee

“Don’t ask how we’ll throw it, this is MY fantasy!”

9. Successfully dig up entire garden

“Those plants are in the way of all my good dirt.”

10. Friend someone with a dog house in the Hamptons

hamptons

“I mean, I love lying on human’s porch, but somehow porch-lying is just better when it’s a dog porch in the Hamptons. Plus, the porch comes with a real cutie-patootie.” <wink wink>

11. Throw a meat-only BBQ

bbq

“FINALLY! A BBQ without all those pesky potato salad sides. I want MY meat with a side of meat, thank you very much!”

12. Get super good at waterskiing so I can get sponsored by Purina and swim in a sea of free dog food

“I can almost taste that sweet, sweet sponsorship!”

13. Go skinny dipping
skinny dipping

“There’s nothing like being naked as you were the day you were born. Or as naked as you are on a daily basis, but in water…”

14. Have a brief romance at summer camp

love

“Can’t you tell we’re in love?”

15. DIY my own doggie door to make it more dignified

dog door

“Dignity lies in doors labeled properly with flashy signs. Everyone knows this.”

16. Finally catch my tail

dog chasing tail

“My tail has been eluding me since I was a pup. Every time I think I have it, I wag in joy and then it is gone again.”

17. Start an acapella group with the ambulance sirens and the other dog in the neighborhood

“I can’t wait to have our first Riff-Off. I’m definitely the Anna Kendrick of the group.”

18. Become a certified yoga instructor

Downward dog

“I have downward dog DOWN!”

Featured image via Pixaby

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