Dog Poop Horoscope: What Your Dog’s Poo is Telling You

Dog Poop Horoscope: What Your Dog’s Poo is Telling You

As we all know, poop can reveal a lot of things about a pup, like whether they’re healthy or not, where your favorite earrings went, and which dog pulled the birthday cake off the table and ate it. But what if there was more to these daily deposits than we ever realized? Can they reveal unknown doggy mysteries and perhaps even predict the future? We’ve mapped out the stars and checked the planetary alignments to come up with this comprehensive reading to put the matter back into fecal matter. So grab your leash and a plastic bag; it’s time to find out what the future has in store for your pup.

If Your Dog’s Deposit is Shaped Like A: HoroscopeSpiral

Spiral: Your dog is feeling mysterious this month, it could be the colder weather, or maybe he can’t decide what he wants to be for Halloween. Help support his mysterious streak by putting some treats in his favorite toy and let him solve the mystery! HoroscopePyramid

Pyramid: Your dog’s month will be filled with adventure! Your dog has been dreaming of frolicking through fields and swimming through that questionably clean river. The planets are lining up to let you know that a long hike or a romp on the beach is definitely necessary! HoroscopeLongPoo

The Ridiculously Long Poo: Your pup is longing for some order in his life! More specifically, he wants you to put your own life in order, maybe organizing your schedule to allow for more long rides in the car. HoroscopeCantFind

The “I Don’t See Where It Went!” Poo: The upcoming month will be filled with obstacles for your pooch, from veterinary check ups (don’t worry it won’t be serious!) to an unsuccessful run-in with the Chihuahua down the street. But all will change. around the 15th, when an unexpected visitor appears and gives him a nice ear massage. HoroscopeOnePoo

Single Mini Poo: Your dog has a big event coming up! She might be a little nervous beforehand; a good belly rub is in order to calm her nerves. HoroscopeSquiggle

Squiggle: Your dog needs to focus on his home life. Do you have a backyard? If so, a game of fetch is in your future. No backyard? A puppy play date will also help! HoroscopeMiniPoo

Many Mini Poos: This month is all about upward mobility for your special ball of fur. There may be a big promotion in the cards! Your pup could be on her way up to being the leader of the dog park pack, a good brushing will help prepare your pooch for her new leadership role.    

The Infamous Lack of Poo: Did no poo appear on your walk? Keep your coat nearby. You’re going to have to take your pooch out again.

Featured Image via I Hate Flash