Putting the milk in before the cereal… grown men in jean shorts… saying that you “hate the word moist”… all heinous crimes, but none compare to the audacity and effrontery of not cleaning up after your dog makes poopy.
Tsk tsk tsk. Fur shame, non-pooper scoopers, fur shame!
Luckily, Andrew Hawes, who calls himself “The Turdinator” is doing his doodie (had to) to keep the streets of Leiston, Suffolk, clean. Literally.
Hawes has been camouflaging himself in park bushes, and filming any dookie deliquents who aren’t cleaning up after their dog. Then this simultaneously charming and horrifying thing happens:
If the dog owner refuses to pick up the poop, Hawes uploads the incriminating footage to his facebook page, identifies the ruffian, and alerts the authorities.
Known as the dog poop vigilante, Hawes has many fans. Even Hugh Grant is on board:
My hero. https://t.co/1TQ9vsMCGg
— Hugh Grant (@HackedOffHugh) August 4, 2015
I’m on The Turdinator’s team 100% (#teamturdinator). There’s a police officer in my neighborhood who calls me “the dog-sh*t fairy,” because I sometimes pick up abandoned dog poops in my neighborhood.
You see, my neighborhood is very dog-friendly. I would like to keep it that way. My dog isn’t about to be pee-penalized just because some hooligan didn’t pick up their dog’s poop, which pissed off the wrong person, thereby making my neighborhood less dog-friendly.
Dog sh*t fairy is a little silly… you can call me ‘fart martyr’ if that makes you more comfortable.
I know, it’s crazy, but if you happen to find yourself caught without a poop bag just as your dog is about to drop a deuce, just make a fart noise three times fast – the dog sh*t fairy will come, with her magic waste-wand, and grant you three plastic bags.
But also, I got better sh*t to do. So, pick up after your dog, dummy! Or “The Turdinator” will getcha!
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