I’m not sure whether this video actually exists, or if it is just a product of the haze induced by doubling down on my allergy medication. The video, soundtracked by St. Lucia’s “Dancing on Glass,” features a woman with a dog’s head getting down on a tree-lined country road. If it is in fact real, it is taking me on a rollercoaster of emotions. A dog sprouting a human body is a nightmare in itself, but now that dog dresses better than I do? That’s a hellscape. Why do I look like a mom on a mall walk when I tie anything around my waist, but this dog looks like the style-lovechild of Jordan Catalano and Angela Chase? Why?!
But as I keep watching, my jealously dissipates and I realize that this hipster Poodle is just living her best life. She is trying to teach us something. We should all be tossing leaves in the air at golden hour. We should all be staring thoughtfully towards the horizon. We should all be dancing alone. On top of cars. That are inexplicably in the forest. This dog knows something that I don’t. Which, to be fair, may be that I shouldn’t take any more Benadryl.