Hey Dog, texting is hard enough without thumbs, but aren’t you just plain sick and tired of not being able to properly express your feelings with technology? I mean, it sucks big time that you can’t press the space bar, let alone tell others with fervor that you really need to go potties outside.
Well, now it’s easier to get the message across, and I’m gonna lay it all out for you, completely
1. A subtle way to tell the humans you’ve done something wonderful and expect a reward immediatly upon their return.
“I think you’ll be pleased to see what I did with all those ugly throw pillows you forgot to remove from the couch.”
2. The fluffy dog bum is the perfect way to reassure your human that you haven’t just been lying around all day. In fact, you’ve been quite the social butterfly, and sniffed many butts.
“We were–erm–exchanging business cards.”
3. THE GOAL IS NEARLY ACHIEVED. This is great to pair with the treat box, as it is foreshadowing a great feat.
“Almost got it. Almost got it. Almost got it. … Almost got it.”
4. You may want to send this one to the dog-next-door you’ve been flirting with, to let her know you’re on your way over. Caution: the human does not need to see this.
“On my way to steal your bone.”
5. This guy is for emergency walkies, or if you need to go outside so you can come back in again.
“I need to go out there for important reasons.”
6. When it’s 6:03 and your human always feeds you at 6:00, shoot him one of these. How dare he.
“I had these dinner plans tonight but I guess you’re a no-show…?”
7. For emergency use only, this monster is for when you hear loud, unfamiliar sounds. It means disaster is coming.
“The end is nigh. Grab your toys and let’s head for the bunker.”
8. The most hated human you know has returned, and you must take action.
“The man in blue. He’s back. Should I remove him or accept his treat barters?”
9. Somehow there’s mud (or poop?) on the floor, and you have NO idea where it came from.
“SOMEONE’S BEEN HERE MOM.”
10. The holy grail of dog-dom. The treat you lick for hours. The I-can-never-quite-get-it-out-of-the-Kong stuff.
“Hey. This fell out of the pantry and everything inside disappeared. Dunno what happened, but we need more.”
11. ‘Nuff said.
“I dug some holes, sniffed some flowers, ate some grass–SQUIRREL.”
12. The doghouse is sometimes the same form of punishment as it is for humans.
“Have you seen Lady and the Tramp?? There are rats in that thing!”
13. Self-shaming, but also a little smug.
“You left my special toys out on the floor again. Your bad.”
If you so desire, watch BuzzFeed’s video compilation with all the emojis together. Take caution, though, headphone users. It’s… it’s something.