Humor

A Letter Of Recommendation From Your Dog On Your Behalf

A Letter Of Recommendation From Your Dog On Your Behalf

~FROM THE DESK OF DOG~

Gordon, Brian’s Dog
The House Where Brian And I Live
The Town Where Brian And I Live

26 May 2016

RE: Recommendation for Brian Wimmell

To The Director of Human Resources:

I am pleased to write this letter in support of my human, Brian Wimmell. I have had the great pleasure of living with Brian for the past three years, and I can say with full confidence that he is my favorite human I have ever met. The care and compassion that he displays on a daily basis leaves me no doubt that he would be an invaluable asset in the role of Seasonal Sales Associate at The GAP.

I have been a dog for either five or 35 years, depending on who you ask. Brian has been employed as my human for three (or 21) of those years, and the time we have worked together have been the most fulfilling of my life.

Brian’s attention to detail and desire to please others, particularly me, is unparalleled. If you need something from him, all you have to do is whine, nudge him with your nose, or bring over one of his shoes. Rare is the occasion that I have had to relieve myself on the floor to get Brian’s full attention (although of course, when necessary, I will do it).

Dedicated and diligent, Brian was eager to learn my system, a daily operation requiring two meals, several walks, multiple snacks and belly rubs, and full access to all couches. He is particularly skilled at cleaning up vomit, a task he consistently performs with a cheerful attitude. His unique training in this area would serve an essential benefit to your company, particularly if your clientele and other employees are in the habit of going through trash and then regurgitating it on the carpet, as I am.

Brian is also a skilled multi-tasker. He is frequently able to walk me, pick up one of my poops, and send a text message all at the same time. Reliable and organized, he consistently remembers meal times, walk appointments, and dog park dates. In fact, Brian is by far the most intelligent human I have encountered.

I am happy to discuss Brian’s qualifications with you further and am available at your convenience. I frequent the Halsey Street Dog Park every morning at 8:00 a.m. and would be thrilled to provide more details about this incredible, invaluable human, especially if you bring treats to the park.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,
Gordon, Brian’s Dog
647-332-4801

~FROM THE DESK OF DOG~
Featured image via @verfaillie.j/Instagram

This has been another BarkPost Stink Piece, updated every week!

Comments