In many ways, getting a dog is like falling in love. You’re instantly obsessed, your world revolves around them, you can’t imagine life without them, and eventually, all of your other friends disappear from your life and you’re left with your one and true best friend. This is what life looks like when that happens:
1. You hang out by watching other people hang out.
2. Here’s another wild Friday night. Hang onto your hats!
3. You guys love Game Night, but it always ends in a massive fight over who has to be the f-cking wheelbarrow.
4. And Dungeons and Dragons is tricky with just two people, too. You don’t get to be Dungeon Master every time, dog!
5. You enjoy classic novels together and do all of the Harry Potter voices, obviously.
6. You even read in different languages.
7. Look, you do a lot of reading when it’s just you and your dog, OK?
8. Also, you get your tarot cards read. And you pay to get your dogs’ done as well, obviously.
9. You drink alone.
10. I mean, hey, no one can call you an alcoholic if your dog is with you, right? Right??
11. Your dog gets more than enough earful of your complaints about that co-worker you hate.
12. And those nights where you try to play Twister alone and get frustrated, your dog is there to lick away your tears.
13. Sometimes you find yourself looking out at the great expanse of nature, wondering about life and what it all means, and asking the big questions like, “But, hey, where are my friends? Do you see them, Butterscotch?” And you wait patiently for Butterscotch to respond.
14. And sometimes, you’re not even your dog’s friend.
15. It’s OK, though. It could be worse. Your only friend could be a CAT.