1. "I'm so lonely I'll go for anything with a pulse."
2. "Feeling wanted was not worth the chocolate squirts."
3. "I'm always the third wheel."
4. "Doesn't matter; had sex."
5. "A butt by any other name would smell as rank."
6. "Never thought I'd say this, but that's too many pussies for one room."
8. "I thought she was the one."
9. "I have needs only Mr. Ducky was able to fulfill. Now he smells like detergent and it's not the same."
10. "I mean I can see some yellows and blues but that doesn't rhyme."
11. "I think she likes me."
12. "This is the part where you say you love me back."
13. "There is so much space now. So much space for my loneliness."
14. "Don't run! I just want to throw my body against yours!"
15. "I really wish I had a girlfriend."
As we draw nearer to Valentine’s Day, we’re all bombarded with reminders about pairing up and getting romantic. If you’re single, even happily so, good luck avoiding the mass hysteria that grips everyone as they scramble to find a date by the 13th. Frank the Bulldog knows the struggle more than anyone else. Here are some of the difficulties he’s faced in his quest to find his soulmate (or at least someone to hump, tbh).
Can’t get enough of Frank? Follow him at @frankiegoestowork!
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