From the moment you entered my life 16 years ago, I immediately knew two things:
1) I loved you.
2) You were the coolest dog I’d ever met.
I, on the other hand, was not cool. I “tortured” you to no end — constantly forcing hugs, imposing human clothing on you, fake-throwing your tennis ball so that you’d passionately run after nothing. In other words, some pretty uncool stuff. Throughout it all, however, you maintained your effervescent chill.
As I reflect on our time together, I realize there were several specific ways in which you were cooler than me. And in honor of our relationship, I have decided to share them:
Cool Sign #1: You could pull off a wig like nobody’s business.
You let me style your hair however I wanted. I realize now that you allowed this behavior because you could rock any look, any hairstyle, any wig. Even a bad wig like this one.
You know how some of us have got “it?” I don’t know what “it” is (obviously), but I know that you always had it. In buttloads.
Cool Sign #2: You always knew the latest fashion trends.
This meant basically everything. Sunglasses, for one.
Your face shape worked for Aviators AND Wayfarers?! That’s insane. And also — the epitome of cool.
Also, raincoats. Raincoats loved you.
Timeless yet edgy. So cool.
Cool Sign #3: You tried to help me embrace the latest fashion trends.
You know how you’d rummage through my folded laundry and specifically consume the crotch area of my clothing and I’d be like, “Ah! Pinky! Why?!” Now I realize that whenever I wear any of those pairs of underwear, I should feel as cool as Regina George!
And THAT’S what you were trying to tell me, in your own cool way. And it is so cool that you would do that, Pinky.
Cool Sign #4: You liked the Boston Celtics.
And you liked them BEFORE they got good again in ’98. That is so cool.
Cool Sign #5: You ran with a killer squad.
Sure, Tigger and Teddy were my friends first, but I don’t blame them for becoming best buds with you. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?
And even when you looked too cool — donning the latest trends and rolling deep with your squad — you were still approachable.
Cool Sign #6: Also sometimes you weren’t approachable.
Probably because you invented Resting Bitch Face. Which is pretty cool. But that didn’t stop me from bothering you anyway.
Like how I’d talk your ear off even while you’d yawn in my face.
Or how you’d act like I had somehow disturbed your reading>
Actually, maybe I did disturb your reading? I’m pretty sure you didn’t know how to read, but you still made me wonder sometimes if you could. And that is so cool that you could even make me wonder a thing like that.
Cool Sign #7: You had a deep curiosity about the world.
Which you would entertain by gazing out that window that so perfectly fit the perfect width of your perfect face.
Just. So. Cool.
Cool Sign #8: You were sometimes super-clingy — but only when you wanted to be.
Yes, you were your own woman, but you would often wait for me right outside the shower, or right outside my bedroom (somehow taking the towel out of the bathroom while I was in said shower — yet another cool move I’ll probably never understand).
Even though you were this strong, independent woman with a cool squad and the OGRBF (Original Resting Bitch Face — ugh, sorry, obviously you’d know what that means), you still wanted to hang with me sometimes. Which made me feel so cool. And is there anything cooler than making someone uncool feel cool?
Cool Sign #9: You loved yoga.
Sometimes you would do yoga without me, which, TBH (to be honest — ah, sorry! Again, I’m sure you knew that acronym, my bad) sometimes hurt my feelings. Maybe you needed some space, I don’t know. One thing is for certain though: I also enjoy yoga and you knew that.
At the same time, though, you being independent AF and doing your own thing? I can’t fault you for that. I can only admire you. That is pretty cool.
Ultimately, I think that’s what made you so cool — you were around when I needed you, but you also did your own thing. You were your own woman, and yet you shared your life with me. I respected that. I’ll miss that.
Because a month ago, we had to part ways. You passed away. And I had to say goodbye to my best friend of 16 years. I will miss how cool you were. And how much cooler you were than me. But mostly, I will miss you.
Pinky, I’ll miss you forever.
Your Owner (who misses your lingering presence in her doorway every day)
This has been another BarkPost Stink Piece, updated every week.