You roll up to the stop light on your corner. You look both ways before driving because, well, safety, and who do you see when you look to your left? It’s a pup looking out the window, into your eyes and by extension, your soul. He’s obviously challenging you to a drag race… a competition of cool, if you will. But trust BarkPost when we say, this is one contest you just won’t win.
1. “Hey you…”
2. “Yeah, that’s right buddy. We’re looking at you.”
3. “But you better stop looking at me, because I’ve got my shades on and I’m ready to roll.”
4. “Me and my pal here are going to count to three, and when we’re done, it’s on like a Kong.”
5. “At points in this race I may look as cool, calm and breezy as a Bernard.”
6. “But don’t let my refreshing lime green car fool you. Yes, citrus doesn’t exactly scream threatening, I know…”
7. “…but look into my eyes. Do these look like the eyes of someone you want to mess with?”
8. “We’re so bad, we can wear Santa hats and antlers and still run you off the road.”
9. “It’s my sassy side eye. It’s distracting you, isn’t it?”
10. “Are my fabulous folds preventing you from noticing the light is about to turn grey? You betcha.”
11. “Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just looking forward… to victory.”
12. “My human may be laughing now, but he knows better than anyone that when it comes to drag racing, pups always get the last laugh.”
13. “So, don’t be fooled by my fluffy exterior.”
14. “Because before you know it, I’ll be watching as you eat my dust bunnies.”
15. Let’s be real. You may as well make like this pup and play it safe. When it comes to racing, it’s a dog eat dog world and humans never come out ahead.