Dogs are forgiving animals. They don’t hold grudges like humans might, and they’re quick to nudge you with a wet snout to remind you they still love you, regardless of how upset you are that they peed in the house again.
That’s what real friendship is all about, right?
But there are some things you do that might make your dog want to quit you. Things like…
1. Giving me an ugly haircut and laughing at my misery.
2. Making me babysit the puppies YOU adopted.
3. Taking pictures when I’m trying to poop in peace.
4. Thinking I’m saying grace when I’m really just begging for food.
5. Thinking you can train me to pick up after you by calling it “fetch”.
6. Making me wear overalls. How am I supposed to poop?
7. Pretending baths are relaxing. No.
8. Bringing random animals home without my permission.
9. Hugging me in front of my friends.
10. Telling me I’m supposed to be Winnie the Pooh for Halloween when clearly I look like spilled condiments.
11. Making me wipe my paws every time. It’s fine, I’ll just rub my dirty butt on your carpet while you’re at work.
12. Wanting to play with me while the Puppy Bowl is on.
13. Making me pose for your ridiculous family photos.
14. Not flushing the toilet. How am I supposed to drink fresh water?