Have you ever been at the dog park when someone calls out, “Whose dog is this?” and points to your dingus, who’s merrily rolling in poop? Or humping another pup with reckless abandon? It’s tempting to rock back on your heels, shrug, and say, “I have no idea whose dog that is.”
1. You know that weird dog at the dog park is probably yours when…he has zero chill around the opposite sex.
2. …he spends most of his time at the dog park composing the perfect Instagram shot. But it’s gotta look effortless, or he’ll delete.
3. …her dog park report card reads: Refuses To Share.
4. And also: Doesn’t Play Well With Others.
5. Your dog at the dog park: “Dad. Dad. Dad. Look at me. Dad. Dad.”
6. She loves nothing more than ruining her friend’s artsy selfies.
7. He smuggles booze into the dog park, and then he can’t hang.
8. Other owner: “Your dog keeps suffocating my dog with his butt.”
9. She thinks she’s twinsies with every single dog in the park.
10. If it has fur and a pulse? Your dog’s humping it.
11. Every time he finds a stick, he has to pretend like it’s a cigar.
12. She treats the main thoroughfare in the dog park like her own personal cat walk.
13. He pees in the pond and laughs at everyone who drinks from it.
14. He uses the dog park as an open forum to explore his sexuality.
15. She gets overly mouthy when she thinks her friends are cheating at Red Rover.
Featured image via @salgrisenochjag/Instagram