Meet the first dingus of 2016: Quigley. He is a Shar Pei, and also a bit of a dingus, so we have dubbed him a “Sharpingus”, which I highly recommend saying out loud to yourself. He is a rescue from Friends With Four Paws .
He is currently being fostered by one of our humor editors, Zoe Castello, who if you aren’t familiar with, brings you #BarkAfterDark, and also is the mother of the Kingus (King Dingus) of the Pawffice, Ziggy. He’s used to being the only dingus in her life.
But this week, she is double dingusing.
Here’s what makes this dingus, a dingus.
1. HIS SMUSHY FACE. Possibly the cutest feature of a Shar Pei. They simply have too much face. (And we mean that in the best way possible)
2. His name is QUIGLEY. I’m sorry but there is nothing more dingus than having an old British man’s name. If your name is Quigley you need a pipe, a monocle, and a horse and buggy.
3. He looks like Arthur the Aardvark.
Tell me I’m wrong.
4. He makes Ewok noises when he yawns.
5. He’s got some wicked fahhhttss. (That’s wicked farts in a Boston accent if you didn’t pick up on that).
They’re mostly loud and squeaky. You know, the kind that go up at the end. You know you’re a dingus when even your farts are unsure of themselves.
6. He does not like conflict.
When Ziggy made it clear today that he needed a few minutes of alone time with his momma, rather than sassing back, Quigley just sat there like “No worries no worries! I’ll be right over here just let me know the most convenient time to come back.”
7. He just wants to be included.
A dingus doesn’t care how uncomfortable they are. They’ll make it work.
8. This is what happens when he shakes his head. I’m pretty sure he just slapped his face with his own face. If that isn’t the definition of a derp moment, I don’t know what is.
9. He frolics around by himself and slides around on the wood floors like Tom Cruise in “Risky Business”
10. When he sleeps his wrinkles transfer down to his neck.
Wait, weren’t those wrinkles just on your forehead? How does this work?
As much as we ruv this dingus, Ziggy is beginning to get a little jelly. He hasn’t admitted it, but it’s pretty pawbvious. If you don’t believe me, here’s this:
If you are interested in bringing this smushy dingus into your life, contact Friends With Four Paws .