Hey, it’s me, your dog. Guess what? We know about the covert puppy cams. You thought we didn’t? Oh, yeah. We do.
As a doge, I need to set the record straight about what we pups REALLY do when you leave the house. And the things we do on camera? We do ’em on purpose. Like so:
Why, you may ask, am I betraying the canine code? Cuz my name is Andi, and I’m not just droppin’ poo bombs, I’m droppin’ truth bombs. Yes, like Miley Cyrus I #CantStopWontStop.
1. We Great Escape it better than Steve McQueen. (He got caught. We don’t.)
2. We do impressions of Dr. Evil with your garden. Why? Cuz we can.
3. We lick….stuff.
4. Case the place for those Big Pupper cams.
5. Sleeping. On your bed.
6. Throwing a house pawty with the streamers you hide in the bathroom
7. Interning with Jeff Lewis for interior design credits. #TooMuchColor.
8. Raiding your wardrobe to get rid of your fashion mistakes. NO MORE TURTLENECKS!
9. Whooping 13-year-old teenagers at Modern Warfare. Sorry bout the next cable bill, btw.
10. Surveillance. (The mailman+the Poodle next door=shameless).
11. Practicing selfie faces in the mirror so we can continue to dominate Instagram.
12. Helping ourselves to the cat’s cookie jar. You know the saying: one cat’s poop is another dog’s treat.
13. Auditioning to be a guest chef for Rachel Ray’s show.
14. Getting highlights the old-fashioned way: the sun.
15. Keeping it real with the cat.
Does your pooch want to join the #pupfessions movement? Tell ’em to spill da kibblez on Facebook or in the comments below!
Featured image via @fffashioncom