Orange
When someone steals my look.
When the interviewer asks what charities I'm involved with.
When the barista asks me if I want to donate $1 to his Kickstarter fund.
When I've been to the beach for 5 minutes and already have sand in my crack.
When my little sister borrows my clothes and looks way cuter in them.
When I sneak into the pool at the Bellagio and the manager asks to see my room key.
When I want to order dessert but no one else does.
When they're just about to announce the results of the paternity test and they switch over to the State of the Union Address.
When I promised my friend after like 40 beers that I’d help him move in the morning.
When my friends convince me to wear this stupid hat to the bar and my ex shows up with his new piece.
When I want tacos and then remember I agreed to do a juice cleanse with a friend I don't even like that much.
Mondays.
When we all decide to order pizza then someone says they're lactose-intolerant.
When I'm on a date and the waiter comes back and announces that my credit card was declined.
When I show up to the Après-ski party and they're out of hot toddies.
When I’m doing the walk of shame and one of my heels break then I drop my phone in a puddle and I’ve had to pee since I woke up and I finally get home and realize I don’t have my keys and I concede that I’m going to have to pee, and maybe poop, on the sidewalk but it doesn’t matter because I have no respect for myself anyway.
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Life

16 Times Gizmo The Griffon Dog Is You When You’re Grumpy

Gizmo the Griffon pup of @heygizmo Insta-fame is one of a kind. He takes resting b-tch face to a whole new level. If he could dress himself, he’d wear T-shirts that say things like “Cool story, bro,” “Call me never,” or some hilarious catchphrase we haven’t even heard of. He can’t even, plus he doesn’t want to, and for all of these reasons, Gizmo is my hero. And these 16 mugshots of him embodying your inner grump will make him yours, too.

Featured image via @heygizmo/Instagram

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