This article is part of our BarkPost Home vertical, The Dogified Home, full of tips, tricks, product suggestions, and styling ideas for creative ways to show off your dog love in your home schweet home.
You’re a dog. A dog with a dream. And you’ve finally saved up for that big home renovation you’ve spent most of your adult life dreaming about. You get recommendations from a furiend for a contractor who you’ve heard does magic for a reasonable price.
So you hire him.
This is him. As promised, he turns your home into a pup paradise, with all the amenities that will allow you to co-exist peacefully with your humans:
You tell him your humans seem to always misplace your outside gear at the most inconvenient times (smells like a conspiracy), and he sets up a dedicated space for all your fun walkies stuff.
You tell him that, given the option, you’d rather get baths at home than suffer the indignity of having your parts handled by the groomer (who, by the way, doesn’t seem to like you very much since that day you squirted butt juice at her — but, like, who told you to press so hard, lady?). Your contractor hooks you up with a bathroom fit for a king.
You tell him you’d rather not slip down the stairs again — mostly so that those evil two-legged jokesters don’t upload another video of you onto YouTube. Ready for anything, your contractor provides a slip-free stairs option…
…which you’ll use only when you know they’re watching.
You tell him you love Gordon Ramsay and would like to host your own Kitchen Nightmares while your people cook, but you’ll need a comfortable place from which to sit and silently judge them. This plush kitchen island bed ought to do.
You’d also like a little spot for your bowls so you don’t get dehydrated while yelling that the scallops are still raw in the middle. I MEAN LOOK AT THEM, THEY’RE MUSHY! FOR DOG’S SAKE!!
You tell him you’d like a Harry Potter nook so you can terrorize the children when they come down the stairs for breakfast, and he delivers.
And every pup knows they’ve arrived once they have their own doggy pool. As always, your contractor comes through in the clutch.
Welcome home, Dog.