Let’s get this out of the way: Introverts aren’t shy. It’s just that we’re more into observing than talking. We also really like people, but sometimes we need to take a step back and recharge – alone.
Small talk is not our thing. The problem is that people think your dog is a living, breathing invitation for small talk. There’s no way to avoid it either. You have no choice but to deal with every cringe-worthy moment of people thinking that having a dog means that you’re open for business. (No, not that kind of business. Get your heads out of the gutter, people.)
1. If you live in a busy neighborhood, walking your dog is like walking through the 5th layer of hell.
Walking my Shiba is my meditation time. I walk to clear my head, not chat it up with anyone. It’s great to be out and around people, but really, do we have to talk to each other? Can’t we just, like, nod our heads and move on with our day?
2. On the plus side, people are more interested in your dog than they are in you.
Small favors, am I right?
3. Going to the dog park is a torture like no other.
You’re totally cool just hanging out while your dog sniffs butts, but everyone else feels like they have to talk to you. The worst part is that you’re stuck in an enclosed space with these people for what feels like an infinite amount of time.
4. You don’t understand why people ask you about your personal history with your dog.
“Where did you get your dog?” “How long have you had your dog?” “Do you ever take your dog to the dog park?” “What do you feed your dog?” “Who’s your vet?”
WHY do you need to know this???
5. You cringe when people ask you if they can pet your dog because you know it leads to small talk.
Ok, fine. Just don’t talk to me while you do it. Pretend I’m not here. You don’t see me. You cannot see me.
6. You don’t understand why your friends want you to talk about your problems. You already talked to your dog and now you feel better.
All you needed was someone to listen to you. Who’s a better listener than your dog? Besides, the less you talk to other humans, the better.
7. You picked your dog’s breed based on personality and their ability to understand the struggle of an introvert living in a world of extroverts.
“Mom, hey mom, someone let a bunch of humans into the house! Who would do this to us!?” #HideMe
8. You are positively grateful for your dog because he gives you an excuse to avoid going to loud parties and bars with your friends.
It’s not you. It’s not me. It’s my dog. #Honest
9. Your dog is your safe space when the world gets too loud and crazy and you need to decompress from too much human interaction.
Your dog understands what Rainer Maria Rilke meant when he said that “the highest form of love is to be the protector of another person’s solitude.”