Queen Elizabeth Armada Portrait FEAT
Prithee wench, canst thou toss a tynnis ball for me to fetch?
Brought ye a dead thinge I founde in the woodes...
Manye nights have I paintyed with a brush of pee on the fynest canvass, my master's carpet.
Ye, I have been awoke all of nighte by the mewling soundes of the naybor's foul cat!
Ere ye bewarned, that my last paw-maiden was of kitten borne and yes, a witch.
O I am just a peasant boy and I 'eve only ere pouped on farmyr's soil.
Aye, for the deville himsylf is in my brother's bottom and I must snyff it oute.
By the Grace of Goode Fortyune hath I taysted a most immaculate snack, butter of peenut.
The Notary has this most spectacular notion that the world is rounde, not flate- yet why then does our poop not roll down the hyll?
Mine lorde- 'tis morning, i must poope.
Lo! Ho! The squirrellle on yonder tree displeases me!
Telle me good dear a funy joke so as that I may fart with good glea!
Ho among yere is a goode booy? Only the Almighty himsylf does know it, He who does hande out treayts
For some are raysed to crap in the fields but I, I am of the paper borne.
Hark Lady Gwendylmire! I hath caught in a round that wretched creayturre, my fiendish taille
Medyme do toss the frysbea ere so that I may catch and droole on the blyssed dysc
Prithee Count Bardenshire, shall we piss around the maypole agayne?
O greate shayme, I pissed my armor agayne.
Ere ye bewarned, that my last paw-maiden was of kitten borne and yes, a witch.
Leonarde Dog Vinci, Oil on puplar.
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Life

These Renaissance Pet Portraits Will Make Your Pup Feel Like Royalty

Sure, dog owners might be called “master,” but every master knows that the real King (or Queen) of the Castle is our pup! We love to pamper them with the best toys, treats, and goodies, but now we can thank our dogs for their loyalty by really treating them like royalty!

Send a photo of your regal Beagle, your kingly King Cavalier, or any member of the mutt monarchy to The Renaissance Pet and in just a few days your best buddy becomes a member of the royal fur family! Moti Zemelman, the man behind the canvas, uses the magic of Photoshop to customize a renaissance pet portrait that can be printed on photo paper, canvas, and even phone cases. A perfect gift for any animal lover, artwork that is sure to go down in fur-story!

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Yes, aristo-cats also welcome.

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