Okay fellow Type A pup parents, it’s time admit our dirtiest secret: It takes a lot of work to appear this flawless. For instance, I have three planners. A paper one, one on my laptop and one on my phone. This way I never forget anything, especially any of the things that relate to my Shiba, Buttons. You know, the important stuff, like updating his Facebook.
Other than my very snappy agenda skills, I have some other things in my Type A arsenal to make sure my pup parenting methods earn an A+.
(aka how I fool people into thinking I have my poop together as a pup parent)
1. I always stay stocked up on poop bags.
If we’re talking about dogs, we have to talk about poop. There’s nothing worse than running out of poop bags. That’s akin to running out of toilet paper. No one wants to do the poop walk of shame. Try BarkShop’s earth friendly Park & Pouch Waste Bag Combo – $30
2. A full pantry of treats is just as important as picking up poop.
We’ve all run low on treats at some point in our pup parenting lives (shhh, don’t tell anyone). Your dog is beggin’ you for some noms, you rush to your very organized treat stash only to find a bag with measly crumbs inside. Then your dog gives you the stink eye. Prevent this horror with the Munchies Box: $45. Never disappoint your best friend, or risk ruining your Type A street cred, again.
3. Fool everyone into thinking you’re a decorating expert by keeping treats in chic treat jars.
Well, obviously you are a decorating expert, which is why you already know this trick. Also, you love seeing the look on guests faces when they walk into your home and see Waggo Dipper Ceramic Treat Jars ($32 each) lined up on your mantle, perfectly accenting your decor. It’s even more rewarding when you casually drop “Oh, those things? Yeah, I keep dog treats in there, nbd.” #MicDrop
4. You’ve got your treats covered, but there’s one thing that plagues dog owners possibly more than poop – TOYS
Nothing makes people think you are a mess, than… well, messes. Opt for storage that blends in with your decor. Fabric storage baskets are perfect for this. I leave mine on the floor for my Shiba to easily grab whatever he wants, and then when company comes over, I slide them on a shelf and leave one or two toys out for the pup. You can buy these bins anywhere. The ones pictured below are from Wayfair Supply: $20.99.
5. Seduce people’s senses and they’ll believe anything you tell them.
“My house is always this organized and my dog is always this well behaved.” – If that sentence leads to a perplexed look on your guests’ faces, light some wine scented candles ($25) that you have strategically placed around your house. While you’re lighting them, say: “They’re made from recycled wine bottles because I care about the environment.” That’ll remove any doubts they may have about you being perfect.
6. Convince people that your pup is the Einstein of dogs.
My dog doesn’t like regular toys. He’ll only play with puzzle toys and he doesn’t really like to eat food out of his bowl. He prefers if I put it in this UFO looking dog toy ($14) because he’s just so smart.
What?!? It’s the truth – I swear.
7. Nothing says “I don’t care about life” like ugly dog food bowls.
Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but if you want to fool people into thinking you are a Pinterest worthy pup parent, then step up your bowl game. Pick food and water bowls that will make your guests question whether or not they’re actually for your dog or random elegant dishes that, for some reason, you decided to put out on the floor. Kess in House has hundreds of dog bowls in every pattern you can imagine. The bowl below is the one that I have – and they coordinate with my regular dishes.
Gosh, I kind of sound annoying, should I have named this list 10 Ways to Be One of Those Annoying Pup Parents?”
8. Nothing says “I care about my dog more than anything” like obsessively forcing hugs on your pup – no, I mean doggie first aid kits, yeah, that’s it.
You’ve got first aid supplies for yourself, but you also need them for your pup. Stock some liquid bandage, Benadryl, towels, tweezers, gauze, hydrogen peroxide, thermometer, etc… and, of course, put them in an awesome container for maximum “I’ve got my shit together” effect. For more information, check this out.
10. When all of your efforts at appearing put together fail, there’s always whiskey.
But at least you can look put together on the outside whilst you’re totally falling apart on the inside thanks to this Hair of the Dog flask: $15
Honorable Mention: Well, this is actually the most important thing of all – Love, lots and lots of love… oh, and a dog. You also need that… otherwise this would all just be really, really weird.