As the great Ron Swanson once said, “Any dog under 50lbs is a cat, and cats are useless.”*
Here’s a few things to keep in mind before walking Ron Swanson’s dog…
1. Big dogs are stronger, so be wary of the “pullers.”
2. You may feel like a celebrity walking down the street. The puparazzi love staring at big dogs.
3. Also, grace isn’t usually their “thing”…
4. … and neither is spacial recognition, so look alive pedestrians!
5. Some people will not be down with a big dog, but try not to be offended by “canine sizeism.” I feel your pain and I happen to adore your gentle giant.
6. Knowing when to let go of the leash is an art form.
7. Be prepared for a lot of “Who’s walking who!?” jokes.
8. The bigger the dog, the bigger their …”log.” Extra poop bags are imperative.
9. Longer legs = Longer strides, so look out for those squirrels. (see #6)
10. Most importantly, big dogs RULE, so conwagulations – you’re gonna look like a total boss.
Note:*Dogs under 50lbs are indeed dogs, and are quite lovable at that. Also, not all cats are useless… I guess.
Sign up & unlock all stories & get the best pup shenanigans each week!