What Your Dog Kissing Style Is Based On Your Zodiac Sign

What Your Dog Kissing Style Is Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Pretty much everyone kisses their dog. If you say you don’t, you’re either a dirty liar or you’re seriously missing out. (Or both.)

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Just as there are all kinds of dogs, so too are there all sorts of doggy kisses to be had. Now, you may think you know everything there is to know about the pooch smooch. And I bet you know a lot. But I bet even you’d be surprised to learn that you and your dog’s kissing style is based on — not science, not personal preference, not even logic — but rather, the ancient art of astrology.

dog in space
It’s true. At least, we think so. Take a look for yourself, and see if the kissing style you and your dog share doesn’t, in fact, line up with your zodiac sign the same way the stars and planets align for that perfect, slow-mo, movie-magic kiss.

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1. Aries (March 21-April 19)

Aries are adventurous and always up for something new and fresh. As a fire sign, they tend to take action and dive in headfirst — sometimes before thinking things through.

If you’re an Aries, then you’re the kind of human that grabs your dog and just, you know, goes for it. You’ll scoop your pup up and take their (dog) breath away in one sweeping smooch.

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Or at least, you’ll try your hardest.

2. Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Taurus are focused, hard-working, and tactile. Like their namesake the bull, however, they can be stubborn and selfish.

If you’re a Taurus, touch is very important. So you’re the kind of person who kisses your dog with everything you’ve got. A smooch isn’t just a smooch. It’s also an opportunity for an enveloping hug, a gentle scratch on the ear, or a loving squeeze of their booty.

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Dogs, listen up: if your human is a Taurus, they might be a little possessive. They’re not going to want to share you with anyone else. Your lips are for them and them alone. And if you, Dog, are also a Taurus, well, you already know what to do.

dog breaks up kissing
3. Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Geminis are quick-minded and curious. Because this air sign is ruled by Mercury (the planet associated with communication), Geminis are naturally inquisitive, communicative beings.

If you’re a Gemini, you love to communicate, so you have no problem telling your dog when you want a kiss and how you want that kiss. If you have a smooch-loving dog, this is pretty straightforward. If you don’t, you try ’till you die.

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4. Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Cancers are emotional and caring. While they’re selective about who they invite into their world, once you’re a part of a Cancer’s circle, you’re in it for good.

If you’re a Cancer, you don’t kiss just any dog. You’re not running around willy-nilly, kissing every damn canine you see. But when you do kiss a dog (most likely yours), it creates an unbreakable bond for life.

5. Leo (July 23-August 22)

Bold and brave, Leos love to have a great time and often surround themselves with a large group of friends.

Unlike Cancers, Leos want to kiss dogs. All the dogs. And if you’re a Leo, you will plant a big, wet smacker on whatever and whomever’s around. In broad daylight. At work. In front of everyone. You guys don’t give a sh-t about PDA.

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But beware: to dogs and humans you don’t kiss (or just haven’t gotten around to yet), you may seem self-absorbed.

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So just to be safe, you should probably kiss everyone.

6. Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Virgos are motivated, observant, and tend to be perfectionists. Their desire to succeed can sometimes make them self-critical.

If you’re a Virgo, your attention to detail and perfectionism insists that every kiss be absolute magic. While this makes you a great lip-locker, it also means that when you kiss your dog goodbye every day, you do it a million times, because that last kiss has just got to be perfect.

dog kiss late
So, the good news for Virgos is you’re a fantastic — and very generous — smoocher. The bad news is that you’re usually late to things because you spent 30 minutes kissing your dog.

7. Libra (September 23-October 22)

Libras are fair-minded, flirty, and the life of every party. They don’t like confrontation and seek balance in every aspect of their life.

If you’re a Libra, your flirtatious nature could get you into trouble with your dog — so be careful about smooching other pooches in front of your pup. You gotta be sneaky. If they find out, they’ll be pissed.

dog punches human
Libras value quality over quantity, so you appreciate one fantastic kiss rather than a bunch of mediocre ones.

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As a Libra, you like to do everything in pairs and you value balance, so you’re more likely than any of the other signs to pull one of those Real Housewives-faux-European-cheek-to-cheek kiss things with your dog:

real housewives kiss
8. Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Scorpios are passionate, intuitive, and stubborn. Although they can be jealous and secretive, they prove to be loyal friends.

st bernard loyal
If you’re a Scorpio, passion and connection are the most important foundations of kissing. You like to know a dog’s name before you kiss them. You value eye contact. You deepen the bond with a tender caress or a light joke before moving in for the smooch. More than anything though, you’re a magnetic force. The dogs will come to you, Scorpio. (Unless you’re this girl.)

Also Scorpios are the most likely to French kiss their dog because, you know, they’re Scorpios.

french kiss scorpio
9. Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Sagittarius are enthusiastic and free-spirited. Their optimism and positive energy means they’re generally well-liked by others.

If you’re a Sagittarius, your desire to please others means you’re constantly showering your dog with kisses (even if your dog is, like, so over it).

pug is over it
Because of your playful spirit, you and your dog like to wrestle and get goofy in addition to smooching.

Nevertheless, dogs of Sagittarius owners be warned: your human’s idealistic nature can result in a tendency for them to promise more than they can deliver. Your human may say “I’m going to give you 10 kisses!” and then they only give you nine. Bullshit.

10. Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Capricorns are responsible, disciplined, and natural-born leaders. Considered the most serious of the signs, they enjoy solving problems but can be perceived as inflexible.

If you’re a Capricorn, your practical approach to kissing translates into some straightforward smooching. While there’s nothing wrong with a simple, classic kiss, don’t be afraid to embrace new and different styles, you stubborn sign, you!

dog licks foot
Maybe you always go for a quick peck, but today, you mix it up and give your dog an Eskimo kiss! Or perhaps your go-to move is a nice smooch on the head, but instead (or in addition!), your dog makes out with your feet.

11. Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

Aquarius are independent, unconventional, and honest. They enjoy intelligent conversation and the arts.

If you’re an Aquarius, the art of the kiss is tantamount. You don’t just run up to a dog and kiss them. An Aquarius kiss is carefully planned. You dim the lights to set the mood. You sing a song to your dog pre-smooch. Maybe you even slow-dance to “your song” (and “accidentally” film it).

ralph brian dancing use

Whatever you do, don’t worry — it’s not weird at all.

12. Pisces (February 19-March 20

Pisces are known as one of the kindest, most compassionate signs. For better or worse, your selflessness seemingly knows no bounds.

benji tazz
If you’re a Pisces, you naturally put others before yourself. This trait, of course, extends to your dog — so you let them do whatever the eff they want, especially when it comes to kissing. If your dog’s a big kisser, then you two are doing a lotta smooching. If your dog isn’t super-affectionate, you graciously accept that without question (no matter how hard that might be).

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No matter your sign or your kissing style, we hope that you and your pooch will now enjoy smoochin’ even more than you did before.

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So go grab your pup and plant a big ol’ smacker on them!

Featured image via @gandalfthegoldenretriever/Instagram
H/t Thought Catalog