Welcome to BarkPost After Dark, a series of hilarious but slightly inappropriate articles we post in the wee hours of the morning for you
weirdos night owls. Not recommended for baby hoomans or the overly sensitive. Enjoy!
Your dog has a dirty mind. Texts From Dog made us think about what your dog would text you if they could text. But what if your dog sexted you? Cheeky doggie! Careful you don’t accidentally reply this way to your pawrents, boss, or human significant other.
1. But do the drapes match…?
2. So…it’s curved.
3. Role play.
4. Don’t put a label on it, man.
5. Who makes the rules around here?
6. You say “joystick,” I say “lipstick.”
7. It’s called “Indognito Mode,” dude.
8. Inhibitions completely dissolved.
9. A potentially splintery situation.
10. My mind’s telling me no, but my doggie’s telling me yes.
11. Unwanted attention from a creeper.
12. IT’S CALLED CONSENT.