You might not think about it that often, but there was a time when you lived your life without the tender caresses of your pup’s nose to wake you in the morning. How much life has changed!
Here are 20 things you’ll never do again now that you have a dog:
1. Clean up after yourself.
2. Visit the dog park alone.
3. Tell the truth.
4. Travel without guilt.
5. Sleep in past 7am without getting licked.
6. Stalk other people’s dogs on Instagram.
7. Avoid using the words “poop” and “eat” in the same sentence.
8. Own nice things.
9. Own REALLY nice things.
10. Swear you’ll never be THAT dog parent.
11. Show people pictures of your PARENT’s dog.
13. Give lame excuses to your friends.
14. Question if you were a “cat person.”
15. Look for roommates who have dogs.
16. Buy paper towels by the roll. You’re buying bulk now.
17. Awkwardly admit to cutting the cheese (now, blame the dog :P).
18. Eat a sandwich without worrying about it being stolen.
19. Choose furniture and clothing because you liked it (not because it matched the cloud of dog fur that follows you around).
20. Live an empty, meaningless existence plagued by vacuity and self doubt.